A few days before the ship arrived at the port, I told my headmaster to reserve the school bus. The computers would soon be arriving and there could be no delay in getting them. He said that the school bus had broken down (something about the flux capacitor), but it was being fixed and would be ready on time. Right.

My agents at the port told me that it once the ship arrived, it would take a few days for the container to actually be removed and ready to be opened. I waited for their call, and when it never came I followed up. No later than next Tuesday I was told. Tuesday came and went, and I still had not heard anything. I called again. We'll call you when it's ready, I was told.

That Friday my father called me. He had been dealing with the shipping agent in New York since this saga began. He sounded strained (note that the American Heritage Dictionary has four definitions for strained. I am using the word here to mean, "having been passed through a strainer").

He had just talked with the New York shipping agent who told him that the container had indeed arrived at the port in Ghana, but…(pause here for dramatic effect)…US Customs ordered it to be immediately returned to the US without being opened. US Customs had informed the shipping line which had confiscated the container and was storing it at the port. No explanation was given nor was anyone even supposed to inform us.

I've only thought about US Customs as it relates to two issues. The first is port security, which Democrats used to bring up as evidence that Bush was not "protecting America."  Charles Schumer launched an investigation, I'm sure, and probably held a press conference at a port with several large color charts). The second issue is the importation of horses and guns for use at the 2012 Olympic Games.

From these two mental flirtations I have inferred that a) US Customs is tied up with homeland security so their job is somehow serious; b) US Customs follows, or at least is supposed to follow, strict government rules; and c) if you want them to change any of those rules it's best to ask them at least seven years in advance.

I assumed that trying to get US Customs to reverse its decision was a lost cause, but I suppose it's doesn't hurt to try. The New York shipping agent appealed to the local customs office. The agents at the port in Ghana asked the local authorities to intervene. A Ghanaian Minister of Parliament, who has a car in the same container, also asked the local customs authorities for help. Meanwhile, I visited a local fetish priest and asked him to make the director of US Customs turn into a frog (they have powers, I'm told).

Three weeks later, the container is still supposedly sitting at the port in Ghana. Apparently the problem was that the shipping line put the container on the ship before US Customs properly inspected it. From what I'm told, any container with a car inside is supposed to sit in the port for 72 hours before being loaded onto the ship. The shipping company may dispute this explanation and may try and blame the shipping agent. I'm kind of out of the loop.

Addendum #1: School has reopened.  

¶ 10:51 AM