On June 12, a new group of Peace Corps Volunteers will land in Ghana. They will be the first group of teachers to arrive since I came last year.

Their landing is amusing to me because it means there will be about 30 Americans running around who don't have a clue, just like me one year ago. And for about the first month or two I can think about how ridiculous they are, what with their complaining, confusion, silly questions, and whatnot.

"Ha," I will laugh to myself, "You've only been here for 5 weeks or some such insignificant period of time. You know nothing! I am master of Ghana !" But most of them will catch on quickly (the rest will freak out and go home), and I won't be able to laugh at them anymore. Alas, the joke will be over and they will be in the same boat I'm in now.

Recently, someone in this new group posted a comment on this site asking about things to bring to Ghana. I think his name is Dave. Anyway, his post raised the disturbing and amusing possibility that there are other members of this new group reading this site.

Peace Corps sends each new volunteer-to-be information about Ghana. Included in this packet are letters from actual volunteers about life in Ghana . They'll probably never get a letter from someone who is sick with Dengue Fever, had his house broken into, and is feeling lonely and depressed. I suspect Peace Corps' censorship is not the only issue. Volunteers who choose to take their time to write welcome letters for a Peace Corps publication are a self-selecting group, and the sick, lonely crime victim seems less likely to do so. As for me, I just tend to avoid the Peace Corps office (the business pace of Ghana combined with the bureaucracy of Washington, from what I've heard).

But the Internet is powerful! I can communicate with this so-called new group and tell them all the important things they really need to know about Ghana. So here they are:

Things to bring:

• A few books to read during training
• A stuffed animal – it will soon become your best (only) friend
• Shampoo and deodorant (They're hard to find. Soap and toothpaste are not)
• Lots of underwear and socks, although socks are generally optional; I do highly recommend underwear
• At least two bags of Fritos and a bag of textured vegetable protein for me (see your local health food store)
• Two years supply of water (unless you're planning on having diarrhea constantly)
• USB memory thumb pen drive things can be helpful, even if you're not a computer teacher

Clothing: Don't stress too much about this. There's no dress code for school, but you're expected to look presentable. You can always get clothing made here. You won't have money for it when you first arrive, but by the time you start teaching you'll have plenty of money to get a few pairs of pants and shirts. You really only need to bring enough clothing for training. The training dress code is pants and a shirt, preferably with a collar, but I don't think they were too upset with t-shirts (I have no idea what women wear). Also, see the note above about socks and underwear.

Hobbies: We tend to have more time here in Ghana than we did in the US. One person in my group brought an obo thinking that he might learn how to play it (he hasn't). Someone else I know learned a foreign language (not one spoken in Ghana). You may want to consider getting a hobby and bringing whatever gear it requires (note: model trains is a bad choice). As for me, I've started writing short stories. They're about relationships I develop with members of the new group of PC teachers. My stories always end the same: one day my new friends come to visit me and I kill them all in their sleep.

Electronics: I made the mistake of not bringing my iPod. Don't be like me. It would be nice to have a cheap laptop to store pictures and write things like this in my house, but I don't have one. Bring a digital camera and a cell phone that works in Ghana if you can. The cheapest phones here (that work) are about $50. You may be able to buy something online that will work in Ghana for cheaper, and you won't have to spend your precious cedis on a phone. Also, $50 for a used phone in America gets you a far better phone than $50 for a "new" phone here.

LED Headlamp: I've written before about this, so I won't repeat myself. Studies show that volunteers with an LED headlamp are 68% more likely to look silly while wearing a headlamp than volunteers without one.

My non-stick pan: You can't bring MY non-stick pan because it's mine and it's already here. You can buy your own non-stick pan in many parts of Ghana, but I'm still glad I brought mine because it's probably of better quality. And, again, don't ask me for mine because it's mine.

I think that's about all the advice I can offer about what to bring. Enjoy your last two weeks in America. Also, keep in mind that there's usually one person in each group that's doing exactly what you're doing now: moving out of an apartment, quitting a job, selling all worldly possessions, saying good-bye to friends and family, etc. Then this person lands in Ghana, realizes that a horrible, terrible mistake has been made, and is on the next flight back to the US. But I'm sure that won't happen to you…

Addendum #1: I was kidding about the water. It's fine. (As long as you filter it…unless it comes from a river in which case you'll want to do more than just filter it. For example, pretend you're drinking apple cider. That way the brown color won't bother you as much.)

¶ 2:00 PM 2 comments

Ghana's got it!

When I arrived in the country almost a year ago, Ghana claimed that it did not have it. However, all of the neighboring countries had reported it, so we assumed that Ghana had it but just wasn't telling anyone about it.

But as of two weeks ago, it's official. Ghana has tested positive for bird flu. It has only been reported among the country's chickens. The disease is also only in one place, the city of Tema. It's one of the country's major ports and is about three hours from my town. Thousands of birds have been killed there for fear that they may have been exposed.

In response to the announcement, Peace Corps handed down some sensible medical advice, such as:

·        "Wash your hands frequently with soap and water"

·        "Cover your nose and mouth when you cough and sneeze"

·        "Avoid contact with those who are sick"

Preventing bird flu is that easy! Nothing to worry about!

(Note: Several months ago Peace Corps distributed Tamiflu to all volunteers. My understanding is that this medication is effective against the disease, although there is evidence that the virus is becoming resistant. And if there's ever a pandemic there won't be enough of it to go around. But it's the best we got!)

I recently heard a report on BBC about bird flu in Egypt. The reporter went to a village where someone had fallen ill from the disease. He described the place as full of "nothing more than small, dirty huts." A house he visited had a "roof made of a thin tin sheet that barely keeps out the rain." He described the children as "wearing dirty tattered clothing" and claimed that "animal droppings and rubbish are strewn about." (Note: I made up the quotes, but they were something like that.)

All of the reporter's observations may be factually accurate, but he painted a picture of nothing but despair. His tone and word choice indicated that he was describing something that seemed new and shocking. But these conditions are normal for millions of people. That doesn't make them OK, but his descriptions were insulting and unnecessarily depressing. Perhaps listeners will infer that there is nothing but misery and desolation in this town. It would probably help if people who reported from developing countries were actually from those countries.

Anyway, getting back to bird flu, the reporter then went to a nearby market where, in clear violations of WHO guidelines, live chickens were being sold. The reporter sounded as if he had uncovered a scandal. How could these people act with such disregard for international mandates!? After all, these regulations are for their own safety.

Americans have been warned about avian flu for years. One day, we're told, it will be a pandemic. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. Or maybe it will all start in Ghana. But I'll be fine. I'm washing my hands with soap…

Addendum #1: I am going to start a weekly radio show in New York. Each week it will be hosted by a different person from some part of rural Ghana . The host will visit someone's Manhattan apartment. He'll describe it. He'll talk about how tiny it is and how he has to walk up seven flights of stairs just to unlock the front door. He'll talk about the isolation of living in a little box in the sky compared to the openness of the village and what it's like to have your only window open up to a brick wall two feet away.

Then, our host will have to guess the rent. Couldn't be more than a few dollars a month for this little room, he'll say. The apartment renter will then hand him one month's rent, all in $5 bills. Because it's radio we won't see his face as he counts the stack of cash, but in Ghana people can be very expressive. We'll hear his shock. We'll even feel it. Then the host will get to keep the money, and here's the best part, he'll stand there and laugh at the New Yorker who spends $2000 a month for a studio in whatever part of the city is currently most outrageously priced.

Addendum #2: Note to female members of my family – no need to freak out. If Bird Flu ever spreads to people in Ghana, Peace Corps will freak out for you and take all sorts of unnecessary precautions. The odds of me getting bird flu in Ghana are just slightly higher than the odds of you getting bird flu in America. So if you don't worry about it for yourself, there's no need to worry about me.

¶ 7:38 AM 3 comments

I've described my house before, but I'll just repeat that it has a lot of rooms (about 15). You walk into the Sitting Room which leads into the Great Hall. The Great Hall is surrounded by doors to about ten rooms. The Great Hall also leads to My Special Outdoor Area, which is a small courtyard that also has doors to about six more rooms.

When I first moved in I was told that the only residents of the house would be me and Kwame, a student of mine and nephew of the house owner. The other rooms would only be used in the case of a major event in the family that owned the house.

In September, the girl moved in. Her name is Ama and she's a student and is related to the kindly old man who owns the house. At the time, this intrusion into my space was upsetting because she was living in one of the rooms off of My Special Outdoor Area. BuT I learned to get over it, largely by pretending that she didn't exist. Then in January two men who are doing construction work at the school moved in. They also stay in rooms off of My Special Outdoor Area, so now "my" house has four permanent residents (plus my cat), and My Special Outdoor Area is neither mine nor special anymore.

More recently, guests have been arriving. At first, it would be a random relative. They generally stayed a night or two on the weekends and were mostly harmless. Some guests attract more attention. For example, a niece of the owner of my house is now visiting from the UK. She is a former resident of the town and she seems to have quite a following. From the time I wake up until past my bedtime various town residents come to greet her. This is mildly annoying, but tolerable.

A couple of weekends ago, I was blindsided by the worst types of guests imaginable: people in town for a funeral. A reminder that Ghanaian funerals are a celebration of life, so these people were here to have a good time. And that means food, drinking, lots of noise, and no sense of responsibility (because who's responsible at a party??).

A few bad things about guests in general:

1. They often call me "white man" or its local language equivalent. Even the most offensive person in New York would recognize that calling someone out by the color of their skin is absurd and unacceptable, but here it's considered normal. In my town I take the time to teach people my name, but I have learned to grit my teeth and deal with it (although not well) outside of my town. However, in my house, this is totally unacceptable behavior.

2. They use my water. I have gone weeks without running water, which means I rely on water that is fetched and dumped into my water barrel. Guests use this water, and then I either have to fetch more water or ask other people to fetch it for me.

3. They're noisy. This is a cultural thing. I would think that if you're a guest in someone's house you would try and refrain from screaming, particularly at night. But apparently this does not occur to many Ghanaians. This observation is based on repeated trials in multiple locations in Ghana, so I'm fairly confident about this generalization. I think it may be related to larger issues about public/private space and property. The notable exception is my current guest from the UK. She seems to get it, which further convinces me that this is a cultural thing. (Another cultural difference is views on the musical group Westlife. While I consider them the creation of record executives to cater to some teen/preteen demographic, a teacher at my school passionately explained to me that their vocal talents are unmatched.)

4. They steal my personal space. It would be nice to have a house of my own, as many Peace Corps Volunteers do, because it would be a place to retreat from Ghana and perhaps have some peace and quiet (plus I could walk around naked, if I wanted to). I have no peace and quiet in my house in general, and certainly not when there are guests around.

On this particular weekend, I had about 25 (!!) guests in my house. To make matters even worse, they were not directly related to the house owner, so no one was able to tame them. They were loud, ate smelly food at odd hours, quickly consumed all of my water, and they called me white man. And at least one of them peed on the seat.

At about 11:15 on Friday night, I decided I couldn't take it anymore, so I went for a walk in my town. No people are out at this hour, so it was just me, cats, and goats. I played in my computer lab for a while and headed home at about 1:30 AM determined to kill one of their small children in the hope that this would scare them into submission. Luckily, they had all gone to sleep, so I didn't have to put my plan into effect. The next night I ran away to a friend's house and by Sunday night they had mostly tired themselves out from two days of being noisy.

My house has also hosted three weddings (although I was not around for two of them) and I'm sure that there are many more simchas to come. And if anyone ever asks me, "Hey, have you ever shared a house with thirty Ghanaians?" I can look them in the eye and say, "You know what…as a matter of fact I have."

Addendum #1: Last weekend was the "world famous" Aboakyer Festival (pronounced A-bo-ah-chair) in the nearby coastal city of Winneba. I t commemorates the people's migration from the north down to their current home. Here's the tourist guidebook version of what happens: two teams dress up in traditional warrior garb. A deer (or antelope?) is released into the bush and the two teams go and chase it. A team wins by capturing the deer. There is much rejoicing.

Here's what really happened: Only one team showed up because of longstanding disputes over land, money, etc. There were threats of violence but a large police presence kept things quiet. The animal was released and the single team, which mostly consists of children wearing secondhand clothing and white face paint, go after it. The children are loosely organized by similarly dressEd men in their 20s and 30s. The bush is open grassland with random patches of bushes. The team surrounds a bushy area and hacks away with big sticks (I spotted a golf club too) in an attempt to scare out the animal. Eventually, they surround the right bushy area and capture it. There is much drinking. And the president of Ghana showed up too. Overall, I would go next year because who doesn't like drinking at 9 AM, but I'm not going to plan my life around it.

¶ 2:39 PM 1 comments